"Chill the EFF out" an affirmation I pick often.
When it comes to the different journeys we travel in our lives sometimes we get caught up in the path and forget a) where we wanted to go b) how to get there c) we change paths or d) that path comes to an end and we forget to enjoy the view before we walk down another one.
I have recently taken 2 of the most amazing journeys in my life! 1. Motherhood (which will continue for the rest of my life) and 2. Finding the career I was meant to be in. Both of these journeys are far from over but they both have MANY paths I have to pick and choose to take or walk by along the way.
Whether you are headed on the right path, the wrong one, an easy one or hard one sometimes you just need to stop and CHILL THE EFF OUT! And so it begins.
I have come to learn that all of the "things" we face in life are given to us for a reason. How we deal with them is the real lesson within these "things". Sometimes to face these "things" you need to take a minute and "Chill the EFF out" before you can move forward. If you get yourself all twisted up about it then you're likely going to be stuck, overwhelmed and stress the EFF out!
Some ways I have learned to apply my affirmation "Chill the EFF out"!
When you are going through childbirth and you are at your end point screaming for this baby to be out, what you really need to do is "Chill the EFF out" and that baby is going to come. Baby is saying, mama, I need to "Chill the EFF out" so I can birth through your birth canal. You have to "relax" your body for that baby to make its way through your birth canal and into this world. If you don't your going to be stressing out yourself and your baby and have a higher risk of a Caesarean birth.
If you are actively trying to conceive a baby and it is taking more time than you expected or you have an infertility diagnosis or an unexplained infertility trouble. This is hard, mental, physically and emotionally. It's draining. Exhausting. Sometimes you are consuming yourself. And I know this is a sensitive subject for many, me being one of them but it's a lesson in which I have learned that when you just "Chill the EFF out" and stop forcing yourself to create a human. It happens more organically, with WAY less stress on you and your spouse. When you're pressuring yourself sex becomes something of a chore instead of the intimate process it should be (for most). You are so emotionally exhausted and you are obsessing over it and can't think of anything else so your body goes into fight or flight mode because now you're mentally not on your game to bring a tiny human into the world. Your body knows when it's ready and it's NOT fair at all, it sucks, like big time and trying to "let you body do it" can seem like a stupid thing to say to someone who is trying to conceive and it's usually a statement hated by many but the truth being "Chill the EFF out" and trust your intuition, trust the process of life and it will happen. And if it doesn't then your journey was meant to go another route and you have to learn to navigate what "Chilling the EFF out" looks like down that path.
Parenting.... HAHAHA.... No one has that figured out and "Chill the EFF out" is something most of us mumble under our breath to the screaming child who hates life because he/she can't have your toast, slam their finger in the door, climb off the back of the couch etc etc etc and the list goes on forever. They don't know it yet but we are just trying to protect them so they just need to "Chill the EFF out" so we can do that.
aside from the screaming baby or the fearless toddler, we all knock ourselves down for being "bad" parents at some point along the way. I'm pretty sure you're NOT a "bad" parent. you're probably a human and human make mistakes so "Chill the EFF out", humans have hormones, attitude, feelings, and a lot of shit they have to deal with and then we throw parenting in there and shit gets real so "Chill the EFF out" and stop listening to the neighbour who tells you your kid should have shoes on while outside or your mother in-law who tells you how you should raise your child or people who think the way you feed your children has anything to do with them.... Parenting is not easy, fair or a walk on a beach. it's hard and exhausting. but also one of the best feelings and paths you will ever walk. So "Chill the EFF out" and enjoy the ride. Be with your kids as much as you want, send them to the babysitter or to nana and papa's so you have alone time with your spouse or maybe just so you can shower and eat a hot meal that's ok too!, breastfeed or formula feed - what works for your family is best, sleep with your baby if that what works. Find what works for you and your family and DO IT!
What about your career? Man so many of us think we need to have our shit figured out by 25 and stay in that career we started at 18 because it's why we went to school etc etc etc. WELL let me tell you... most people I have spoken with are still trying to figure their shit out at 40! So guess what "Chill the EFF out", give yourself a break. It's ok to change your career more than once, go to school for 5 different things. Your life changes ALL THE TIME so it's only natural that your job would as well. You grow so allow your life, your career, and everything grow with it. Just "Chill the EFF out" and go back to school, get a new education, find a new job! Just do it!
If you are scared shitless to ask someone for something, apply for a job you don't think you'll get, go back to school, ask a guy/girl out (my someone being a mentor, friend, someone I have SO much respect for, and a super successful woman) and the list could go on, but I want you to think of what resonates with you here.
If you are scared of facing this fear, ask yourself why....... Why are you afraid? Whats the worst thing that could happen? They say no.... you have to travel down a different path and maybe come back to this one...... you find something even better with the outcome you get..... you start over..... you fail.... What is it that we are all so afraid of? Just "CHILL THE EFF OUT" and you wouldn't be so fearful of what you're trying to do. Just go for it!
I was terrified to asked this person that I look up to for what I really wanted. I wanted to be a part of an organization and it was a HUGE goal of mine. I was so afraid to just ask about it, so I didn't for quite some time. Well, guess what I asked myself WTF are you so afraid of? Just "Chill the EFF out" and ask. So I did. GUESS WHAT! I got an amazing outcome and I am so EFFING excited about it!!! (can't wait to share that with everyone once it can go public if it all works out!!)
No matter what life throws your way it's going to test you. it will test your limits. it will test your strength. How you deal with these things and how you apply "Chilling the EFF out" in situations when it's needed is where you will find the best outcomes. They may be shitty situations but what you learn from them or what comes from them is the important part. So friends when you're in a situation and your freaking out and don't know what to do say to yourself "CHILL THE EFF OUT" and see what you can get from it!
I used to be afraid to blog..... Then I asked myself why?..... And look at me now :)